My Manic Life.

I really should have updated before now, a lot has happened but I’ve felt so crap that tumblr got neglected. Bleh. To cut a long series of events short, I went down, way down and haven’t seen Peter in a while, it got bad enough that Jonny rang Peter and he and Dr Kelly were pushing for me to ring the Crisis Team, to be evaluated for In Patient. It wasn’t pretty. I refused to call them or let Jonny call them, mainly because without my money we’d lose the house and although Jonny could stay with family (mine or his), I couldn’t make my 5 dogs homeless, they are my entire world. So, we in turn convinced Peter that there was no need and he said he’d discuss my ‘turn’ with the team. That was Tuesday, I think. Wednesday he let us know that a transfer would be discussed in the weekly Team Meeting and Thursday afternoon it was all confirmed, I’m being transferred to the other team, who are more ‘qualified to treat my type of problems’. Heh. So I’ll be getting a new Therapist and as far as I know, a new Psych. I’ll still be doing home visits though.

I’m not sure how to feel about this really. On the one hand, yay no more crappy unprofessional people (hopefully…) and I’m happy that these people may be able to help me more but at the same time, damn, what a fucking waste these past few months have been. It took me so fucking long to even get back in to therapy, let alone get settled with Peter (which I wasn’t 100% still) and now I’m back to square 1 all over again!

Gah, I hope my new Therapist is nice… I don’t even know who the hell it’ll be yet, it can take a week or two to get it sorted apparently. -sigh-. Everyone, well, the few family members and very few close friends I’ve told are being relentlessly cheerful and overly gung ho about the change. They’re being irritatingly chipper, honestly, to the point where I’m just like, “really?”. I know they’re clueless and don’t understand my frustrations and anxieties but jeez, just some basic acknowledgement is all I’m asking for… Instead they keep plastering over my feelings on the matter with their sodding chipper-y chipper-ness -.- It’s just not helpful, you know? At the end of the day, if a situation sucks, why pretend it doesn’t? Just acknowledge it and we can all move on, instead of trying to convince me that this will ‘help’ my Anxiety! I don’t see how more stress and anxiety provoking situations will help, but maybe that’s just my common sense talking… heh.

Ahh tumblr, such a good place to rant!

Other than that ball of njkfnklanknfkl, I guess everything is as usual. I’m a little over 3 weeks into a downswing, by my estimation (I kinda skipped doing my mood chart for a few days… like, a months worth of days… uh huh). I’ll try and pick it back up, I know it’s a useful thing to do. With nothing else to add I shall go and wish you all…

Peace xo