My Manic Life.
I'm Rio, I'm female, 19 and bisexual. I'm engaged and live with my fiancé Jonny and our 5 Chihuahuas. I live in the UK, but I use a lot of 'Americanisms', they're easier to type usually.
I have Bipolar 2 RC, GAD and contamination based OCD - I'm a 'hand washer'. I self harm and have done so for going on 9 years now. I'm currently totally housebound due to Agoraphobia (18 months and counting since I last went out). I also have a history of Eating Disorders (Anorexia and Bulimia - Purging Type), substance abuse (I'm diagnosed as 'Alcohol Dependant'), plus sexual abuse and a host of other things explained in my posts. ***NOTE - I'm currently in the process of being re-diagnosed and having some existing disorders tweaked. Please bear with me/my blog while it all gets sorted!***
This 'micro blog' is a mish mash of my feelings, thoughts, experiences, my past, present and maybe a little about my future too.
This is about my journey to achieve good mental health and if you want to, you are more than welcome to join me on my way...
Shall we begin?
Key -
Currently mid transfer, details to come.
??? = Therapist.
??? = Psychiatrist.
Peter = Former Therapist and Support Worker.
Dr Kelly = Former Psychiatrist.
EDC = East Dene Centre - The CMHT clinic I'm with, now under the 'Intensive Team'.
IT = Intensive Team (see above.)
St. Johns = Old clinic, when I was under CAMHS and lived in Nottinghamshire.
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me half-way through shaving one leg: i dont want to do this anymore
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Creamy garlic broccoli - about 30 calories per cup. This would e great with chicken breast or steak.
Recipe Link: ...
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Not gonna lie, my heart melted a wee bit.
my mom cried
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so apparently kevin rudd changed his stance on gay marriage because of ‘a personal journey’
kev got the d
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my avocado breakfast hehe :)
I spent the majority of the morning on the sofa, crying under my duvet, because the floor wouldn’t stop moving.
Cancelled my 3pm meeting with Peter.
Did manage to get a bath eventually though.
Also, haven’t been able to eat all day, aside from 3 slices of cheese and some chocolate I snaffled at breakfast, which was 12 hours ago.
I’ve been so confused all day, cannot grasp anything. Just had a minor argument with Jonny because I felt like he was mocking my confusion. My words aren’t coming out right or making sense and I can’t take anything in at all. I keep having him repeat things 3 or more times and I still can’t understand what he’s saying to me. It’s like a foreign language. He’s only chatting to me or asking basic questions and I’m mind fucked. Words feel so strange and unfamiliar. It’s beyond ridiculous how bad it is today.
Now I’m sat here, feeling shit, I cannot wait to go to bed and sleep away a few crappy hours, before all this shit starts again tomorrow…
Long time no see tumblr. After 2 wonderful people taking time out to contact me, I thought I should stop feeling sorry for myself and get my arse back on here! (Thank you, truly.)
A lot has happened in the time I’ve been away! I see from my last post I was waiting for a home visit last. Well that never came to fruition, I cancelled my appointment and some wires got seriously crossed, the therapist thought I was kicking off and police were involved, thankfully the policeman had more brain cells than the 2 bit therapist and all was resolved quietly :)
Since then I’ve still been off meds since the Citalopram (Celexa) and Mirtazepine (Remeron) fiasco.
Now - A few weeks ago I got referred by my GP again, this time to the SPA Team (Single Point of Access Team). Their job is to assess you and decide if your needs warrant CMHT care (Community Mental Health Team) or can be dealt with by the general local ‘Psychological Therapies Team’.
I had my SPA assessment 2 weeks ago, Friday 7th October and my assessment put me in the ‘chronic’ category. That was a nice kick in the teeth I’ll say. So anyway, I got referred to the CMHT. I got a letter a few days ago with a form for me to fill out and sign, so I’m currently waiting for my ITT meeting (Introduction to Treatment). The waiting list is currently 6 - 8 weeks, however because I’m currently quite symptomatic they’ve said early - mid November is the time I’m looking at for a home visit.
After the ITT meeting I’ll be able to share my treatment plan with you as far as therapist/psych docs/meds etc etc. I’m expecting a long slow process, complete treatment overhaul. Whoo!!! < sarcasm.
I’m hoping to get back to posting regularly and can’t wait to get caught up with people :)
I’ll be posting my mood charts as before, although I may just take pictures of the actual paper, rather than do it on the pc, save me copying it out! I’ve recently started a daily mood journal too, so I’ll look into sharing that maybe…
My mood right now is on the up, so I think I’ll be able to get things rolling easily.
Glad to be back tumblr type people, hope I’m welcome!
Peace xo
